Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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