Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
