Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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