That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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