Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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