I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
