On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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