I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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