I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
