There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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