I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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