FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
