morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
