I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
