Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
