k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
