I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
