We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
