All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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