Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i already hear my dad disowning me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
