DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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