Say something about gay babies.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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