Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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