id be glad to
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
