I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
