This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you made out with another girl for some wings
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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