If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just googled if crying burns calories
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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