I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
