Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
