In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
