I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
