guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
