Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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