My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
