I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
4 words: hood of his car
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
