you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wanna passion pit in your ass
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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