I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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