I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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