fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm like, not good at living.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
