We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
