PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
