theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
