i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
