As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
