her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
