is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Let's get the cat blown out
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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