I can tuck mytits in my pants
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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