That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
