After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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