This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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