Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
