ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
